Can I address the elephant in the room before we get started? Who is Kara DioGuardi and how did she end up as a judge on American Idol? The first person to answer that question for me will get a text message from me telling you how great you are. What a prize, eh?
Ok, so Kara wants to give our favorite pop star a hug because she feels sad for Heidi. I want to get Heidi in an underground hideaway program for women who need to leave their abusive husbands. Not that Spencer is abusive in anyway unless you consider his flesh colored goatee abusive to the entire human race. And really, I find it more offensive for us as a species than I do abusive.